On Cars, Garages and this moment

A lifetime ago, when I was head of production for a short-lived joint venture called CBS/Fox Video, I used to leave my office at 1210 6^th avenue at 10:00 or 11:00 at night and marvel at having a car picking me up and taking me home to my apartment on the Upper Eastside.

I don’t know why that small largesse on the part of a company that was misogynistic and working me to a bone, (though doing what I wanted to do, creating programming, but not paying me a reasonable salary), moved me, but it did. Whatever the reason, I was highly in touch with my feelings of thankfulness. I understood that I could be working at some other job, NOT doing what I loved, and unable to have a service, late at night, whisk me home on the company’s dime.

I think about those nights from another life every day when I back out of my garage. (What a segue!) My garage is a tandem—meaning it’s long and thin and fits two cars- one after the other- rather than side by side. Thankfully, David doesn’t park his car behind mine very much—only when it’s cold, and it’s nice to have the cars cubby together in the warmth.  So, backing out for me, a woman who got her license at the not young age of 40, though not difficult, is not so easy either—even with a back-up camera. Every day when I gingerly finagle my way through the garage door, I think, one day, I’m going to be so glad not to have to do this.

But at the very same instant, I am grateful. I am grateful for this house, this car, this garage, albeit narrow. This life, this husband, this family, these cats, these friends. Because I can imagine in years to come, we will sell our four-story house and move to a one-floor condo. But by that time, all our cats won’t be with us—and perhaps we won’t be creating documentaries which is what we’ve done since we first married, and maybe I won’t even be driving very much. Life will be good, I’m sure, but it will be different. And many of the things I love so much now, will be gone. And I know I will look back at this time, and wished I was more grateful and appreciated it even more. Note to future self: I am. I do.