At the risk of stating the obvious, no one likes admitting they were wrong. But no was has ever died of it either.
And what seems to be happening is, rather that just saying “I’m so sorry, I misspoke,” or “I’m sorry I hadn’t seen that memo, therefore the whole premise I’ve been arguing for is no longer valid,” or “I’m sorry I advised you that way, I clearly didn’t insert my brain in my skull that morning,” people dig their heels in and keep on arguing long after all the evidence has shown them to be incorrect.. The mere fact that the evidence proves them wrong seems to give them the adrenaline to argue all the more.
This happened when Kirssy Martinez came to me to ask if her undocumented status was the reason the college hadn’t named her valedictorian. I was sure that it wasn’t — I certainly hoped it wasn’t! Yet when I looked into it and discovered the school had indeed made an error, and that Kirssy should have been named the single valedictorian instead of sharing the distinction as what ultimately transpired, why didn’t someone step forward and simply say, “We’re so sorry, we made an error?” Eventually they did, they HAD to, but that was after days of digging their heels in and attempting to come up with all sorts of excuses and ways not to admit their error. Stacks of my evidence eventually won out—but as a colleague said to me later in congratulations, “Most people would have given up.” But if I had given up, the people responsible for the error would have succeeded in not admitting their mistake. More importantly, a woman who deserved the recognition of being name valedictorian would have been denied.
Recently I discovered an inconsistency in the CUNY Manual of Policy and the faculty contract. There’s no doubt that there’s a problem, but instead of admitting it, what does legal say? Oh the policy has changed. When asked to see the new policy they refuse to provide written evidence. They just dig their heels in even deeper, and begin to threaten me. I almost feel sorry for them. Don’t they know me.
I’ve never read an obituary where the cause of death has been admitting one was wrong. And I’m grateful I don’t have a problem with admitting my own errors- of which there is no small number. I’m even more grateful to have the support of David, who has never made me feel like I’m fighting windmills. But perhaps I’m most grateful for my persistence in finding, fighting for and broadcasting the truth in the face of almost mindless denial. May I never lose that trait.
